


Can't Risk Falling Off My Throne

by TheYaoiChick



Series: Music Inspired [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/F, Pre-Canon, Unhappy Ending, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYaoiChick/pseuds/TheYaoiChick
Summary: Don't look. Don't listen. Pretend you don't see her. Pretend that these feelings don't exist. Pretend that everything is normal... Pretend she is nothing more than a friend. After all, what did she know about love anyway?
Relationships: Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez
Series: Music Inspired [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481129
Kudos: 11





	Can't Risk Falling Off My Throne

This can not be happening. This can _not_ be happening. Not now. Not ever. How could she have been so _stupid?_

**"Hey, me and Britt are having a sleep over tonight. You in?"**

It had seem so innocent. How could something that happened all the time lead to the end of her life? How could something that should have meant nothing lead to something that was going to change _everything?_

**"Where's Brittany. I would have thought she would have rode here with you after school, since you're both practically attached at the hip lately. Well... when either of you aren't attached at the _mouth_ with someone else that is."**

**"Her mom made her stay home. Some bogus excuse about having to actually get a grade higher than a zero... well Brit said a negative number but I'm pretty sure it's illegal for a teacher to give a negative test score and _not_ be immediately fired for being horrible at their jobs so I'm assuming she meant a zero. So, looks like it's gonna be just you and me tonight princess."**

She should have left. She _knew_ she should have left as soon as she knew she'd be alone with her. She should have seen this coming, dammit she was smart enough to have seen this coming!

Though if she were being honest - and she _hated_ having to be honest about these sorts of things - this had been a train wreck that was a long time coming. Even _Finn_ noticed something was going on--

**She hadn't planned to look that long. Just a passing glance, that was okay wasn't it? Nothing wrong with a quick look - it could easily be passed off as admiring her outfit. Or sizing up the competition. Right? Girls did it all the time, it didn't _mean_ anything.**

**"New friend?"**

**She finally looks away - _why_ was it so hard to look away? She didn't even know her name! - to see Finn smiling in that dopey puppy dog way he got whenever he thought she was doing something _nice._ It wasn't a look she saw very often.**

**"What?"**

**"That girl you were staring at, is she a new friend of yours or something?"**

**"Okay one, I was not staring at her I was thinking - I know you don't know the expression since you do so little of it and two, no, she isn't. Since when have you ever known me to associate outside the Cheerios? It would be social _suicide_. Besides, she's obviously some sort of vampire groupie freak. She'd probably try to steal my blood for a cult."**

**There. Vicious enough to be believed, plus insulting enough that Finn wants to shut down the current conversation in favor of turning it towards something that would get him compliments - namely football.**

**No more questions. No wondering about her real motives. No one commenting on the fact that her eyes had stayed glued to her legs. No one needs to know.**

\--and if that didn't say it all she didn't know what did. Sure she managed to divert his attention away, but the fact that he noticed anything at all didn't bode well for her. What if other people saw, and were just bidding their time before spreading around? And she knew full well, no matter how little the proof, no matter how much she denied it or the fact she was with Finn, the slightest rumor would be believed in a heartbeat.

All her hard work, all her efforts to remain at the top, would be for _nothing_.

And that was just from looking at that Asian girl. Now? With this? Now there would be proof. Now she didn't even have the luxury of denial.

All because of that weirdo stalker. JBI or JIB or jewfro or whatever the hell his name was. He had never bothered her before so she had never bothered to learn it. Never thought his ridiculous camera fetish and ludicrous journalism fantasy would ever effect her. She should have known better. After all, being popular had it's drawbacks. Just look at celebrities!

What was he even following her around for? Or Santana since it was her house. She thought he was all over that annoying freak Berry. Why wasn't he following _her_ home and taking pictures through _her_ window? Ruining _her_ life instead of Quinn's?

But then... there wouldn't have been anything to see if she had just kept her self control. If only she hadn't accepted that drink.

**She could only pray that coach Sylvester never found out about all this pizza they were eating. Having already endured one week of her constantly berating them because of the slightest weight gain, she wasn't in any hurry to endure another.**

**"Will you relax?" Santana bites out at her. "Despite what she says, I doubt coach Sylvester _really_ has all our houses bugged. So long as you use a _really_ good mouth wash and do double the jumping jacks she'll never know we treated ourselves."**

**"No, I know. Besides... after the last two weeks from hell she's put us through, I think we deserve a little indulgence."**

**" _Exactly_. But you know--" Quinn already knew that whatever was going to come out of Santana's mouth was going to be something that would land her into trouble and that she'd jump in head first anyway. That smirk should be illegal given the things it did to her. "--if we _really_ wanted to indulge ourselves, I still have some of that good whiskey that Puckerman brought last time he was over. Want some?"**

**She should say no. She _knows_ she should say no. She's never drank before, she has no idea how it would make her act. Though really, she knows no matter _how_ she acts it will bring about some sort of teasing. The only question is what kind, how much, and if it's enough to bring the whole _school_ into it.**

**If she manages to keep her composure, keep the HBIC persona she's worked so hard to maintain, Santana will just accuse her of not drinking enough. Probably accuse her of being scared or something or worse, accuse her of hiding something.**

**If she becomes either a raging or sobbing mess... well that really depended on what she said.**

**The best case scenario would be if she was a happy or giggly drunk. Sure, Santana would tease her for acting so differently then she normally did, but at least it wouldn't give her the sort of ammunition she would take straight back to school.**

**The absolute worst case scenario... she came on to Santana. She became a flirty drunk. Sure, she had the padding of Santana most likely just swiping it under the rug as common drunk behavior - she's heard plenty of stories about straight girls kissing under the influence. Though on the other hand, those stories usually made it out to be because they were trying to tease guys. Would Santana make more of it since there weren't any here?**

**"Well?" Santana asked, eyebrow raised in impatience, "Do you want some or not?"**

**Quinn still couldn't move to accept or to deny. Too many unknown variables. Too many things she couldn't control. What was the option that was the least likely to back fire on her? She just didn't know.**

**Santana sighed and said, "I promise, no one is going to know you unclenched a little and actually showed some emotion if that's what you're worried about. Would it make you feel better if I took anything that could record you and put it in the garage?"**

**It would actually. Why didn't she think of that? Sure, there was still the possibility of _Santana_ spreading rumors just through word of mouth but... but at least this way there wasn't any hard evidence. Just she said she said. Quinn's word against Santana's. And given Santana's more... _spotty_... reputation compared to Quinn's, people would be more likely to believe her wouldn't they? Especially since most people assumed she didn't have feelings anyway, they would never believe that she would do anything too crazy right?**

**And... Santana was her friend. If you can't relax around friends, not even in the slightest, then what was the point?**

**"You know what? You're right. We deserve to cut loose a little, and no one is around to make anything of it. But you _should_ probably put anything that could record somewhere else. Just to make sure neither of us has anything to black mail the other with."**

**Santana wears that illegal smirk again, both of them knowing that neither of them was above using anything done tonight against the other in the case of wanting to climb to the top. Taking away one of the weapons to do so was just - leveling out the playing field.**

**Santana doesn't bother to reply though, just goes to get glasses with that _damn_ smirk still on her lips. As Quinn watches her leave, eyes glued to the way her tight shirt clings to her curves, she swallows and hopes this doesn't come back to bite her.**

She should have known. She should have _known_ something would go wrong. Just because it didn't _immediately_ go wrong, just because she didn't shout out every thought she had when she took that first sip, she so foolishly thought it meant that she was in the clear. Thought it meant she wasn't like all those _other_ drunks. That it meant she could possibly impress Santana, show she wasn't always the uptight princess, while maintaining her cool and calm persona. So stupid.

**So far so good. Sure she's a little swayie and she's definitely warmer than she had been, but there hasn't been any impulse to share all her secrets. And yes, maybe she's touching Santana's arm and hair more than she normally would, but she hasn't confessed any feelings other than friendship and hasn't done anything too out there - like kiss her. No matter how much she wants to.**

**She laughs a little harder when she tells a joke, nearly choking on her own breath. Nearly blacks out when Santana decides that her hair needs to be done - "What kind of sleep over would this even _be_ if we didn't do each other's hair? Come on now. I promise I won't make you look like a puffed up clown fish now sit down." - and she has to sit there and not groan at the amazing feeling of each stroke of her fingers.**

**When she leans over to let her look in the mirror while saying in the most gut clenching husky voice Quinn has ever heard - "Damn Fabray, even I gotta admit you look _smokin_ hot right now. You're welcome for the Lopez experience," - that causes Quinn to lose all sense of reality. Causes her to throw all caution to the wind. Takes a chance to have this experience just _once._**

**She kisses her.**

Is it wrong that she wished she could get that moment of gratification back? That all intaking sense of pleasure of finally following her heart that lead to her finally knowing what her lips would feel like. To take the time to actually _remember_ what they felt like instead of it being immediately overwhelmed by panic. Is that so wrong?

Obviously. Even Santana thought so...

**She never knew a kiss could feel like this. Always thought that romance movies and those cheap dime a dozen romance books exaggerated that elated feeling you could get the second your lips touched. Always over played how fast your heart would race and how your palms would sweat. Definitely thought they were just playing on stupidly overdone imagery when they said you could see fireworks behind your eyes. Or was it that you get the same feeling as watching fireworks? She didn't remember. Could barely remember her own name right now.**

**Could only think about how soft her lips were. About how she could feel Santana's lip gloss mixing with her own, and how she had never found anything more erotic. About how _desperately_ she wanted to run her hand through Santana's hair, and bring her even closer.**

**She opens her eyes, just to have a quick glance to see if Santana is feeling all that she's feeling when she noticed the window behind her. The curtains wide open. And the camera aimed right at her.**

**She jolted away so fast that Santana ended up all but in her lap - that stupid camera still aimed their way, finger hastily clicking away.**

**"What the hell--" Santana starts, only pausing when Quinn points behind her, in too much shock to even try to force her voice to work. She can't help but notice that as soon as Santana sees him though, he starts turning to leave. Obviously she needs to get scarier, she needs to teach him that Santana's temper is an all out _kitten_ compared to her own. "A voyeur. Seriously? It's gotta be jewfro. Guess he got bored of Berry and those lame ass animal sweaters and decided to stalk someone hotter. Just our damn luck huh."**

**Even though he's gone already, Quinn is still thankful that she walks over to close the curtains.**

**"So," Santana says as she holds the curtains closed, back still turned towards her, "I guess we should talk about what just happened huh?"**

**Quinn's mouth is moving before her brains even caught up to the fact that Santana hasn't started teasing her about it. Just fell immediately into fixing the problem, hoping it makes this whole experience go away.**

**"I'm sorry I just attacked you out of nowhere, I don't know what came over me. Too much to drink I guess, made me confused for a minute on who I was with." The laugh she makes is so awkward, but it was all she could do to avoid breaking down into tears instead.**

**She wished Santana would turn around. Wished she could try to figure out how Santana felt about all this in anyway she could - because as much as Santana might hide her feelings away she'd never be as good as Quinn herself was. She knew all the signs after all.**

**"Well, as far as experiments go that was pretty lackluster," Santana laughed, though Quinn could tell this one was different. It lacked the usual bite, as though she were unsure if Quinn truely didn't feel anything. As if she wanted to soften the blow if she did, but still give her an out.**

**Quinn hates that it makes her heart race, that it makes her fall just a little deeper.**

**Why can't she just _turn around_ so Quinn could know if Santana's heart was breaking as much as her's was.**

**"Yeah," Quinn said softly, trying to follow her lead. Laugh it off, make it seem like a giant joke. Don't let on that you want nothing more than to go home and cry. "I was a little disappointed actually. I would have thought with the amount of practice _you_ get it would have been a lot better."**

**"Oh please, that was _hardly_ my best work. For one, I usually have a warning so you know - that whole shock factor played into that. And for two, there's at least a _little_ chemistry for me to work with when I kiss them. We both know the only thing between _us_ is an iceberg about to collide with a volcano. It would be impossible to make it work."**

**And _there's_ that acidic bite that she was so known for. Apparently Quinn at least convinced her it was just confusion brought upon by the alcohol so they could hopefully put this whole day behind them come tomorrow and be the snarky friends that Quinn had come to rely on.**

**That doesn't make the sting cause by her words to leave so easily though. Doesn't stop the crushing disappointment that she had been the only one who had felt anything. That had she not seen the camera and pulled away, Santana would have probably jumped right into the teasing she had assumed she would have done. Because she felt _nothing_ for her.**

**It was always just Quinn.**

Luckily she had managed to keep her composure the rest of the night. Had managed to keep from running away - and all but confirming that she was lying about it being nothing but alcohol - and had kept her cool when they did each other's nails. Something that everyone did at sleepovers and something to try and get that damn persistent awkwardness from descending on them.

And since she had convinced Santana that it hadn't meant anything, hopefully she'll be able to help her curb any rumors brought about by that creep spreading those pictures around. She might even have Finn and Puck give a little more... _incentive_... to keep it to himself and tell everyone he purposely misunderstood the situation to his own ends.

She's getting everything she wanted, putting everything back on track for the perfect high school career she's always dreamed of. So then why does she feel like she just lost absolutely everything?

Little Miss perfect had turned into little Miss actress. A role she'll play for the rest of her life. She just has to find a way to live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: Little Miss Perfect - Joriah Kwame
> 
> Kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day 💙


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